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View Full Version : Spouse Stage Guide Book - or the 7 steps to bourbon'ing



spun_cookie
01-17-2010, 12:14
I sort of derailing the "what did you have pass up thread", so I figured I would move the fun part over here...


I went a little bourbon crazy with all the fall releases last year and my wife kind of gave me "the look" about slowing down.


A lot of us know all about "the look" Rich. :skep: A pretty common occurrence around my household. :rolleyes: Joe

Ah yes..... Stage 1: The Look

Stage 1: The Look "huh?"
Stage 2: The little comments "where are you going to put those?"
Stage 3: More direct comments "you'll never drink all of that!" & "Dusty hunting... what?"
Stage 4: Concerned for your safety "what do you mean your going to go to a function with people you met on line!!???"
Stage 5: Confusion "There are others worst than you?"
Stage 6: Acceptance "Well, they are nice people and it is just a hobby"
Stage 7: Concede, resign, and surrender "OK, you can buy as much as you want. This stuff is great!!! And you should start planning for those two trips to Kentucky and the one down to Houston. Cannot wait to go meet everyone again"

I have not gotten through Stage 6 completely... but I am trying hard :D


You're way ahead of me Em...I'm somewhere between stage 2 and 3...she doesn't know exactly how much I have so I haven't gotten the comment of you'll never drink all that. I have gotten the "spending more money on bourbon?" comment though! I think I've found my way around that though...the answer is to trade or buy from independent people so she doesn't see the Binny's receipt or debit on my account! :D I've now gone 8 days without buying anything from Binny's...my goal is to only buy on their quarterly sale day! Somehow I'm not sure I'll make it to the next one in May! :skep:


Emerald,

I went through stage 1-6 OCT 2008 - 1 JAN 2009.

Stage 1/2: Came back from Iraq to a bunch of Bourbon I bought online (OCT 08)
Stage 3: When I had to move from a two shelf closet to a bookshelf full of bourbon. (DEC 08)
Stage 4: Driving down to AZ on my way to TX (DEC 08)
Stage 5: When we walked into your bunker (DEC 31, 08)
Stage 6: Jan 1, 2009 as we are driving away from Vail AZ


Still waiting on Stage 7, however Jen is going to Houston with me so maybe I will complete stage 7 in May.


I am at stage 7. The wife and I just did our 2nd at home blind tasting of 4 different bourbons last night. We both got all correct. She is excited about the Houston trip. She knows there are people worse than me, but has only met Mozilla. She's thinks he's got a bourbon buying problem. Wait till she meets some of you. Although we cannot afford to buy anymore bourbon as of right now, she has not told me to stop. That was my decision.

...and Don, as long as you still think you're in cotrol, that is what counts :D

spun_cookie
01-17-2010, 12:17
Emerald,

I went through stage 1-6 OCT 2008 - 1 JAN 2009.

Stage 1/2: Came back from Iraq to a bunch of Bourbon I bought online (OCT 08)
Stage 3: When I had to move from a two shelf closet to a bookshelf full of bourbon. (DEC 08)
Stage 4: Driving down to AZ on my way to TX (DEC 08)
Stage 5: When we walked into your bunker (DEC 31, 08)
Stage 6: Jan 1, 2009 as we are driving away from Vail AZ


Still waiting on Stage 7, however Jen is going to Houston with me so maybe I will complete stage 7 in May.

Jason,
That was truly the crash course for any spouce.

In truth, you may have partially gone through Stage 1-6, but you will revisit many of them... just wait until you bunker hits 50, 100, 250 etc :D hahaha....

I am not sure it is possible to truly finish all of the stages permanently

ErichPryde
01-17-2010, 14:42
HAHAHAHA! Tracy and I just read through these and cracked up. Even though she LIKES whiskey, we definitely are working on some of these stages (namely 6 and 7....)
:slappin:



edit: although honestly? 6 isn't a problem, Tracy is already used to me meeting strange people online... She's been dragged to forum meets before.

independant
01-17-2010, 15:36
I am stuck in a revolving cycle of stages 1 thru 4.

SMOWK
01-17-2010, 15:50
Great Thread! As I'm still a youngin'.

My Two Cents:

I stick to the 1-12 rule. Every 12 bottles of bourbon I buy, a bottle of cognac/brandy goes on the shelf for the lady.

ggilbertva
01-17-2010, 16:41
I'm definitely at 6 but don't think she'll ever join me on a bourbon trip. I've gone to KY with her blessing and I've pretty much purchased what I want within reason.

theDon
01-17-2010, 17:47
You are right Em. After letting my wife read this thread, I am delusional!

barturtle
01-17-2010, 17:51
You are right Em. After letting my wife read this thread, I am delusional!

You let the wife read the site? You have learned nothing.:lol:

Stu
01-17-2010, 18:28
Those of you who know Bernadette know that I'm at stage 7. Example: Last night was her turn to choose a whisk(e)y and she picked BT. She's still not real fond of ER so I "forced " myself to drink some of that. I know her tastes and I keep her away form wheaters except for MM and Old Fitz, which she likes. When she tells me she likes PVW and Weller I guess I'll have her completely converted. I had to do the same thing with malts. She detested Laphroaig, and didn't like Lagavulin and Ardbeg until we went to Islay. Going on distillery tours and sampling afterwords is a great way to convert your wife.

GOCOUGS2002
01-17-2010, 18:36
Jason,
That was truly the crash course for any spouce.

In truth, you may have partially gone through Stage 1-6, but you will revisit many of them... just wait until you bunker hits 50, 100, 250 etc :D hahaha....

I am not sure it is possible to truly finish all of the stages permanently


Very True Em!

You could turn this thread into a book, each chapter detailing the story of a member's journey through the steps.

MarkEdwards
01-18-2010, 09:03
Going on distillery tours and sampling afterwords is a great way to convert your wife.

You converted your wife into a bottle of scotch? Details, please. :cool:

MarkEdwards
01-18-2010, 09:08
Many years ago, when I was dating my ex, she noticed I had a six pack of beer, half a cold pizza and a package of bologna in the fridge. Being a young bachelor, that was it.

She asked me, "Are you turning into an alcoholic?" :bigeyes:

So, I'm surprised there isn't an item 1a on there for the occasional spouse who doesn't understand the concept of bourbon appreciation...

dean_martin
01-18-2010, 09:40
Is there a what's fair is fair (or "oh sh*t") stage?
"I've been keeping up with what you've bought and now it's MY turn to go shopping."

barturtle
01-18-2010, 09:52
Is there a what's fair is fair (or "oh sh*t") stage?
"I've been keeping up with what you've bought and now it's MY turn to go shopping."

I don't think that's a stage, just a fact of marriage.:slappin:

cowdery
01-18-2010, 10:47
I was going to say no one had reached stage 7 but Stu is right about Bernadette. There are a couple of others. There are a couple who are in a stage of their own creation. Not sure I can put a number on it.

Being single, of course, I'm just an observer.

Old Lamplighter
01-18-2010, 11:24
She asked me, "Are you turning into an alcoholic?" :bigeyes:

So, I'm surprised there isn't an item 1a on there for the occasional spouse who doesn't understand the concept of bourbon appreciation...

This is the stage where I am perpetually trapped with my wife......very doubtful there will ever be any further progression. At least now I can take some degree of solace in the fact I am not alone - and even more importantly, thanks to Spun and the rest of you, these steps have been identified and reduced to writing.

doubleblank
01-18-2010, 11:30
I believe in the "Shock and WOW" method of complete emmersion of one's spouse into your hobbies. I got Val thru steps one to seven in a single weekend in Kentucky. The picture below is her going thru steps 1, 2, and 3 in a single moment. And after she met many of the fine SB folks in Kentucky, she got thru the remaining steps. She will even have a bourbon with me late at night. It can be done! Val hasn't been to Kentucky with me in a while, but is looking forward to seeing everyone again in Houston.

Randy

fishnbowljoe
01-18-2010, 15:25
I was going to say no one had reached stage 7 but Stu is right about Bernadette. There are a couple of others. There are a couple who are in a stage of their own creation. Not sure I can put a number on it.

Being single, of course, I'm just an observer.

Now that's just downright funny. :slappin: I could have sworn that it's at least a 12 stage process. I'm way beyond stage 7. Heck, my wife will even drive when we go out dusty hunting. :bigeyes: I do the navigating. :grin: Joe

Stu
01-18-2010, 16:18
Now that's just downright funny. :slappin: I could have sworn that it's at least a 12 stage process. I'm way beyond stage 7. Heck, my wife will even drive when we go out dusty hunting. :bigeyes: I do the navigating. :grin: Joe

I guess you're ahead of me Joe. Bernadette usually waits in the car while I inspect liquor stores.

Stones
01-18-2010, 16:46
That is a priceless photo of your wife doubleblank!!! :lol::lol::lol:

My 7 steps to b'boning have taken a slightly different path, she knows i have 'a few' stashed away but isn't fully aware of the total stash - yet.
It started with 'the look' and kinda skipped to Stage 4 and 6 - 'concerned for my safety part and part acceptance'. Once she finds the complete stash i will then employ Stage 5 as a diversion saying there are worse than me and then fingers crossed Stage 7 will kick in... :skep:

theDon
01-18-2010, 19:23
Is there a what's fair is fair (or "oh sh*t") stage?
"I've been keeping up with what you've bought and now it's MY turn to go shopping."

This has gotten me out of trouble many a time. She'll say, "I thought we didn't have extra money," I'll say, "Well I just spent $50, you can spend $50 too," and I don't hear anymore about it. Magic!

cowdery
01-18-2010, 21:24
I'm not sure what number it is, but "blame SB.com" is in there somewhere.

tommyboy38
01-18-2010, 22:23
My wife keeps telling me to buy more. What's up with that?

Stu
01-19-2010, 07:57
You converted your wife into a bottle of scotch? Details, please. :cool:

She's small, but she's still to big to fit in a scotch bottle, even a handle. Besides, that would be a very bad trade on my part.

dean_martin
01-19-2010, 08:53
This has gotten me out of trouble many a time. She'll say, "I thought we didn't have extra money," I'll say, "Well I just spent $50, you can spend $50 too," and I don't hear anymore about it. Magic!

Mine waited until I was in pretty deep before she made it known that she was keeping score. I learned my lesson.

pepcycle
01-19-2010, 13:40
What stage is schedule a wedding vows renewal at the Gazebo during The Sampler?

Wedding Cake with layers held up by Evan Williams Bottles.?

Vows done by minister who works at Heaven Hill?

TNBourbon standing up for the Bride?

Betty Jo as wedding planner?

Jeff as Best Man?

Leslie as Maid of Honor?

Trail of Cans on the Trolley for the trip to Jideco Hall?

The Sampler as a reception followed by all night at the Gazebo?

Bouquet with 4 Roses?

spun_cookie
01-19-2010, 16:09
What stage is schedule a wedding vows renewal at the Gazebo during The Sampler?

Wedding Cake with layers held up by Evan Williams Bottles.?

Vows done by minister who works at Heaven Hill?

TNBourbon standing up for the Bride?

Betty Jo as wedding planner?

Jeff as Best Man?

Leslie as Maid of Honor?

Trail of Cans on the Trolley for the trip to Jideco Hall?

The Sampler as a reception followed by all night at the Gazebo?

Bouquet with 4 Roses?

A full graduate of stage 7 .... And 6000 SB.com worshipers!!!