Do you have it?

[barturtle]

I knew there was a name for it. I actually have been studying this phenomenon in myself for quite sometime, so I thought this diagnostic tool might be helpful.

Questions to ask yourself to determine if you have Whiskirexia Nervosa:

Okay, I'll give it a go.

1. Do you have a better whiskey collection than most restaurants and bars in your city? state? country?

But, of course!

That's one.

2. Do you have bottles stored in the bedroom? the bathroom? the kids' room(s)?

Bedroom? Check! Bathroom? Check!

That's two.

3. Do your local liquor store owners/staff know you by name?

Interestingly, no...and I'd like to keep it that way.

4. Do you have on-line liquor stores bookmarked?

They don't ship to KY anyway, so there's no point.

5. Have you ever missed work to ensure you're home to sign for a parcel that requires an adult signature?

See the former.

6. If you leave a liquor store empty-handed do you feel disappointed? Panicky? Do you develop a rash?

Actually that sensation would be relief...

7. Do you have a written inventory of your bottles? When someone comes over for a drink, do you offer them a printed list?

Nope, mine's digital, and that information would be "need to know" and nobody else really needs to know...and what is this you speak of? "People coming over for a drink?" Never heard of such a thing.

8. When travelling, do you visit liquor stores just in case they have something you can't find at home?

What other use is there in traveling?

That's three.

9. Do you spend more time buying whiskey than drinking it?

Nope...but I combine trips with other shopping, so I don't have to count the driving time.

10. Have you ever considered opening a bar, just with the stock you currently own?

Hell no...I've worked in bars for years, you couldn't pay me enough to deal with those types of employees.

If you've answered yest to five or more of these questions, you may have Whiskirexia Nevosa (also known as Whiskyrexia Nevosa). You should consider seeking immediate medical attention.

Only three, I seem pretty safe.

[Special Reserve]

I knew there was a name for it. I actually have been studying this phenomenon in myself for quite sometime, so I thought this diagnostic tool might be helpful.

Questions to ask yourself to determine if you have Whiskirexia Nervosa:

1. Do you have a better whiskey collection than most restaurants and bars in your city? state? country?

2. Do you have bottles stored in the bedroom? the bathroom? the kids' room(s)?

3. Do your local liquor store owners/staff know you by name?

4. Do you have on-line liquor stores bookmarked?

5. Have you ever missed work to ensure you're home to sign for a parcel that requires an adult signature?

6. If you leave a liquor store empty-handed do you feel disappointed? Panicky? Do you develop a rash?

7. Do you have a written inventory of your bottles? When someone comes over for a drink, do you offer them a printed list?

8. When travelling, do you visit liquor stores just in case they have something you can't find at home?

9. Do you spend more time buying whiskey than drinking it?

10. Have you ever considered opening a bar, just with the stock you currently own?

If you've answered yest to five or more of these questions, you may have Whiskirexia Nevosa (also known as Whiskyrexia Nevosa). You should consider seeking immediate medical attention.

What a great list! Count me in: 1,2,3,4,6,8,9

My name is Will and have Whiskyrexia Nervose, but I'm loving it!

To tell the truth, this summer I had purchased a few bottles of Wild Turkey 12 year old cheesy gold label and did not open it for 3 months. Additionally, that's not the first time I made a purchase of a unique or highly prized bourbon and did not open it for months. Now, that's sad.

[ggilbertva]

I have chronic Whiskirexia nervosa and I need help.

[fishnbowljoe]

Hi, My name is Joe and I have Whiskirexia Nervosa. I had a restless sleep last night. I think I made it through the night without thinking/dreaming about bourbon. I got up early to make breakfast and had to walk by my sideboard. That's when I relapsed. I stopped to look at my stash, and immediately thought about what I could buy next to further enhance my collection. Help!

PS I have to go to the grocery store later with my wife. I don't know if I can do it without visiting their great liquor department. Help! Help!

[fishnbowljoe]

I have a number 11 to add to this list.

11. Do you spend more than 3 minutes deciding on what bottle from your stash you're going to have a pour from?

Joe

[spun_cookie]

Questions to ask yourself to determine if you have Whiskirexia Nervosa:

Ohh... what Fun... I love tests

1. Do you have a better whiskey collection than most restaurants and bars in your city? state? country?

Yes 1 for 1

2. Do you have bottles stored in the bedroom? the bathroom? the kids' room(s)?

If I may add "or do you have a special room make to store your stash"

I think the latter might be worse, but that is a 2 for 2 (assuming the change is acceptable)

3. Do your local liquor store owners/staff know you by name?

Not in Tucson (there is no selection), but I do in Westboro Mass and Binny's Chicago, as well as a few staff members at 5-6 other spots- that should count right

3 for 3

4. Do you have on-line liquor stores bookmarked?

Yes. 4 for 4

5. Have you ever missed work to ensure you're home to sign for a parcel that requires an adult signature?

No, my wife or my neighbor will sign for me - I had to develop a staff of helpers - this should probably count, but time for a miss

4 for 5

6. If you leave a liquor store empty-handed do you feel disappointed? Panicky? Do you develop a rash?

I do feel disappointed - very empty

5 for 6

7. Do you have a written inventory of your bottles? When someone comes over for a drink, do you offer them a printed list?

None written down at all. I might be scarier, but I have all of them memorized including where they are located on the shelves and box.

5 for 7

8. When traveling, do you visit liquor stores just in case they have something you can't find at home?

err... big time

6 for 8

9. Do you spend more time buying whiskey than drinking it?

Well, I usually drik while I am looking, but do not always look while I am drinking

6 for 9

10. Have you ever considered opening a bar, just with the stock you currently own?

For a moment, but mostly to get the wholesale discount

7 for 10

11. Do you spend more than 3 minutes deciding on what bottle from your stash you're going to have a pour from?

Sometimes longer while I enjoy reorganizing them again for fun

8 for 11

I also think one to make it more realistic for Barturtle two more are required. These will put you into 5 easy there Timothy... and they are fair questions

12. Have you moved closer to the motherland to get a better selection or do you spend your "off" time in Kentucky?

No for me - but that is why I know all the best liquor store owners

8 for 12

and

13. Do you have more bottles bunkered than you can remember - requireing a list

Nope... but I can store a lot of usless information....

and one more

Do you ever have host Bourbon themed gatherings with bourbon games?

Not yet, but I am planning on it ... so another miss - 8 for 14

8 for 14... so.. a solid case here indeed.... but there is room for growth

[barturtle]

12. Have you moved closer to the motherland to get a better selection or do you spend your "off" time in Kentucky?

This one is not accurate, I have actually never moved out of Kentucky for anything other than school, so my State-of-Residence has never changed. So that would still be a negative. Going home is a tradition for college students when school is out.

13. Do you have more bottles bunkered than you can remember - requiring a list?

I can't remember most things without writing them down, including my mothers' phone number and birthday...I wouldn't consider a poor memory as being indicative of a clinical disorder.

Do you ever have host Bourbon themed gatherings with bourbon games?

Not really...I have played tour guide for a few fellow Bourbonites, but I was not the one who organized the event.

I'll add in Joe's too:

11. Do you spend more than 3 minutes deciding on what bottle from your stash you're going to have a pour from?

Nope, I keep few enough bottles open at any one time as to avoid that problem.

Since we are up to 14 questions now, you would need to increase the number of required positive answers to increase as well, to 7...since my number of affirmative answers hasn't increased, I'm actually swinging toward an even more normal diagnosis than all you mental cases.

Looks like I'm just a normal, well-adjusted, non-OCD whiskey collector/drinker.

I seem to have noticed something that may be a contributing factor: most of you poor, afflicted people are married...not all, but most...I'm not sure why marriage could help to push so many who would otherwise be borderline into full-blown clinical diagnosis, but it may be something to look into.

[spun_cookie]

They say admitting the problem is the first step to recovery... I'm not saying anything to anyone in particular... I'm just saying that is what they say...

... I am not sure self actualization is really a step towards recovery. It seems like clarity on how to focus on what you now realize is your passion..

[barturtle]

It may be time to add in some statistics based questions:

15. How many Whiskey Forums do you have more than 100 posts on?

One for me

16. How many of those forums have you accumulated more than 1000 posts in your first year (or maintain a more than 3 posts per day average)?

zero for me.

17. Add one for being an Whiskey Forum administrator/moderator/owner (per forum).

zero for me.

18. Add one for owning more than 25 bottles, two for more than 100, three for more than 400.

that's two for me.

19. Add one for owning more than 12 of any one bottle.

zero for me.

Okay 19 questions, we'll go with 9 is a positive.

I now get 6 out of 19...still not a positive.

[Stu]

Stop adding questions! I'm already a diagnosed case! I'm going to Santa Fe to spend Thanksgiving with my in-laws, and I called Byrons in OK City with an order. I have to take my truck because it won't fit in my jeep! I'm 68 and I have at least 2 to 3 years worth of inventory and I'm buying another year's worth! The bad part is I know that while in Santa Fe I'll have to drive up to Kokomans on the indian reservation to see what goodies they have. The sad part is making two trips/year to Kentucky and one to Scotland, I don't think there is any hope for me! If someone forms a WRA, count me in as a charter member. I've always said I'm not an alcoholic because I don't go to meetings and I don't have a drinking problem because I can find my mouth every time, now you point out that I do have an affliction. I used to like you, Chuck, before you pointed this out to me! (but I still look forward to raising a glass with you at the Sampler and learning more of your knowledge of bourbon.)