Georgia Moon brand Corn Whiskey
bottled by "The Johnson Distilling Co.", Bardstown, KY
80 Proof

I wanted to like this stuff. I really did. Mostly
because I'm a big believer that under-aged whiskies can
be glorious and enjoyable. You may also have noticed that
Georgia Moon is available EVERYWHERE, so you'd be entirely
justified in thinking that making it your friend might be a
wise investment of your time. But, alas, a word of warning
to those who are tempted: you will be disappointed. But take
this not as a condemnation of the entire category... just a
bad apple which hopefully doesn't spoil the whole bunch.

The Packaging: comes in a "fruit jar"-style 750 mL container
with a wide-mouth screw-on lid. The label conveys a
light-hearted feeling, meant to be somewhat humorous,
declaring "Less than 30 days old." It's a little hard to
pour from the wide-mouth, but this can be forgiven.

The Nose: Ugh! Nasty cardboard with light hints of boiled
cabbage and brussel sprouts. An immediate put-off. Smells
like B.O.! The words "rancid" and "musty" come to mind.
There are some plummy notes struggling to be heard, but
there is nothing light or flowery in there, at least none
that I can sense.

The Sip: This requires a great deal of courage after the
nose. But that's fine... I've had cognac that smells
terrible, but is enjoyable after you get it in your
mouth. On the tongue there are some of the light candy corn
notes that you really wanted when you bought the stuff, but
mostly it's just like what I imagine it's like to lick an armpit.
(I have no experience in armpit licking, and thus cannot
authoritatively state the similarities...) More of the rancid
and musty notes come through, which overwhelm any plummy flavors
that might tempt you to think about enjoying yourself.

The Finish: At this point, you'll be thoroughly disgusted,
and will be pondering how quickly you can throw your glass
into the sink.

A few days later, I actually had the bravery to try a second glass,
this time with ice. Result: the ice kills everything that shows
promise, and accentuates everything that is wrong. I briefly
pondered using it to pollute some Coca-Cola, but decided against

What crap! The "Johnson Distilling Co." should be embarrassed
and ashamed of themselves! It is an outrage that this, the
most visible and most widely available corn whiskey should
be so gut-wrenchingly terrible! Is it really that hard to
take a skinnier cut when distilling? The only excuse that I
can possibly think of for this crap is that it is part of
a conspiracy: the idea being that by flooding the market
with really bad corn whiskey, the category will get a bad name
for itself, thereby protecting the low-end bourbon market
from unaged (and thus less expensive) whiskies.

The really sad thing is that there are people who believe in
unaged corn whiskey, who really want to enjoy it, and who buy
it with hope. White lightning lovers of the world, let it
be known that there are better products out there, and although
you might have to work hard to find them, you will be rewarded
in the end.

Tim Dellinger