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Best one liners for coping during the crisis


Flyfish
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The intent is to focus on bourbon or whisky related quips but, if precedence is any indicator, some of you will go wherever you choose regardless. So, lay on MacDuff and damned be he who cries "Hold! Enough!"

No, wait, that is not at all the kind of quip I had in mind. Try something more along the lines of "Drink responsibly" means be extra careful not to spill your bourbon.

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5 minutes ago, TehRegion219 said:

"3 fingers, straight up"

Had one something like this in mind. Might post it later.

 

Biba! Joe

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My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy, so I got a couple of bottles of bourbon.

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Two fingers (and a thumb) for me, one finger for you. ;)

 

Biba! Joe

 

DSC_0002.jpeg

hello.jpg

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^^The Cash picture is a classic. I downloaded it several years ago and send it to friends all the time.^^

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3 hours ago, DanP said:

My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy, so I got a couple of bottles of bourbon.

Please have someone post your obituary here :) 

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Not a one liner but...I like it anyway. From an early Richard Prince "Joke Painting"...

 

My father was never home, he was always drinking booze. He saw a sign saying DRINK CANADA DRY. So he went up there.

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Not a one liner, but Flyfish said up front that he expected us to go wherever so.......

 

This an old Steven Wright quip from way back and this is how I remember it so I don't expect it's an exact quote.

"I came home really drunk and accidentally put my car key in the front door. It started up. So I took it for a spin around the block. The Police pulled me over and the officer asked, "Where do you live?"

I said, "Right here". 

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My job being considered 'essential' right now is like a stripper telling me I am her favorite.

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9 hours ago, BlueMonk said:

... like a stripper telling me I am her favorite.

hey wait, she told me the same thing ?

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