In-Law Whisky

[TunnelTiger]

Most of our friends are JD or GD12 lovers so they are very easy to please (three of them have actual JD glass enclosed shrines filled with collector bottles, glasses, etc) but two are high end scotch lovers and are always on the lookout for exceptional bourbons. Love em but gotta watch em.

[393foureyedfox]

Harry that's just mean, making the furry child eat cheap cat food.

Id rather have an in-law staying in my house than a cat.

[squire]

You haven't met some of my former in-laws.

[Harry in WashDC]

[Warning WAAY off thread here] Hasn't met my cats, either. We taught them to fetch, sit when told to, stay off the kitchen counters, come when called by name ("Here, Kitty" sends them to the closest window sill, growling), and sleep on the bed only in the winter and then only at our feet. Why not just get dogs? Try teaching a dog to use a litter box under the bathroom sink or in the guest bedroom.

[Enoch]

My mother in law, bless her heart, was the one who first told me fish and relatives stink after three days. She rarely overstayed her welcome, and while not a big drinker usually seemed content with whatever I put in front of her. Loved Tom and Jerrys at Christmastime.

The one relative who would likely drink bourbon is married to my wife's sister she doesn't get along with, so we haven't seen him in years. Although he was a good enough guy I'd gladly share whatever I had with him. No one else is a danger to waste anything valuable, and when my friends come over I'm more than happy to share. God knows I've drank enough of their good stuff.

My mother in law told me the same thing...best that her children never be together for more than three days and she is right. We tried to spend a week together at the beach about 10 years ago by renting a big house....no one spoke for almost a year after that.

[Enoch]

You haven't met some of my former in-laws.

my 85 year old ex father in law still sends me hate letters and we divorced in 92.

[393foureyedfox]

my 85 year old ex father in law still sends me hate letters and we divorced in 92.

thats funny!

do you send them to him too?

[flahute]

I'm lucky. My only in-laws who enjoy bourbon (brother and sister in law) have as nice a selection or better than mine so when I visit them, it all evens out. Heck - he's the one that got me into Stagg and Handy by leaving the bottles with me while we were staying at the father-in-laws house. In his defense, he knew I was a light drinker and that bottles would be safe. On his recent visit I was more than happy to return the favor by sharing anything I had.

[BigRich]

Id rather have an in-law staying in my house than a cat.

Same here.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[squire]

Although some people may harbour misinformed impressions of dogs mine stay out of my booze and love me unconditionally . . . unlike some of my ex in-laws.

[Harry in WashDC]

Squire, your dog stays out of whiskey? We had a boxer named Smoky that hated Old Crow but loved Royal Crown. My Dad couldn't keep the dog's tongue out of the glass if RC was in it. That was a big reason I never drank a lot with my dad.

Uh, rainy day edit: that should be "Crown Royal".

Edited March 29, 2014 by Harry in WashDC

[GaryT]

Id rather have an in-law staying in my house than a cat.

As someone with four cats, I should be offended . . . but . . . I guess comparing them to my mother-in-law . . . she never eats house plants, vomits in the middle of the hallway (strategic placement, I'm sure), and she uses the toilet rather than a box - which is less work for everyone else. So I can see your point OH - and most importantly, she doesn't drink any liquor!

[squire]

I didn't say my oldest dog doesn't drink, he just stays out of mine.

[B.B. Babington]

[...We taught them to fetch, sit when told to, stay off the kitchen counters, come when called by name ...

we're talking about cats, right? Maybe taught them to stay off the counters when you were looking, or they taught you to throw things for them to play with. Or you have good technique. My cats can't even learn to stay off the stairs after being stepped on.

[mbroo5880i]

Is cats code for something else? Sort feel like I just walked in on a Ted Nugent conversation. My little dog loves mild bourbon (<100 proof). I don't let her drink it since her little liver can't handle it but I do let her taste it by licking my finger.

I love my in-laws (the parents) but the siblings drive me to drink. Maybe the answer is to put it all on the counter and drink until they leave.

[B.B. Babington]

...Maybe the answer is to put it all on the counter and drink until they leave.

Now here's the best advice yet.

[squire]

Just limit it to a three day supply.

[jwacky]

I posted that Breckenridge was perfect since it 'beat Pappy', but ultimately I let my father in law (and my dad) drink whatever the hell they want considering all they've give me (and my wife). The least I can do in return is sip (or shoot) the good stuff.

[Paddy]

My late father in law was easy, as he would drink whatever was readily available (and smoked cheap cigars). Better yet, he bought (and gave away) Old Fitz by the cases for Christmas, New Years, birthdays, etc.

Due to the above, there was no way he could ever have put a real dent in the stash of Old Fitz I had in the house and always had a readily available stash here (and also at every other friends and relatives house). Always ahead of the curve, he was!

[Dannabis]

..but really can't tell the difference between Jack Black and Beam Eight.

So what do you do? My solution is get some empties with recognizable labels (Jack, Makers, etc.) and fill 'em with cheap hooch.

+1 perfect idea. Put some hh wht or old crow in those bottles and see what their mind does to it.

give the brother some OC and tell him its PVW!

The mind will change your experience to fit your expectations so see where their minds go.

I.e. I've eaten fish sticks which I mistook for mozzarella sticks and I swore I tasted cheese!

hide the good stuff

[squire]

What no one has asked is why I have cheap hooch on hand anyway. I don't but would buy some for the in-laws because they're worth every penny.

[Dannabis]

My question would be why Don't you have cheap hooch on hand?

[squire]

Because they drank it up on their last visit.

[Harry in WashDC]

I had another thought (thanks to some posts over on the latest MadVatter thread). If the in-laws are staying at least a week, put them to good use. Before they arrive, survey your collection of clunker bottles & almost empty mid-shelfers and all those liqueurs and aperitfs that you thought you'd use when you bought them, like Midori, St. Germain (which I do like), butterscotch schnapps and Goldwasser (the cinnamon flavored stuff) which you bought to make "Oatmeal Cookie" cocktails, Dubonnet, limoncello your wife made (which is back in its Everclear bottle), blue Curacao, etc. ALSO, go to Wegmans or Publix or someplace selling Hansens sodas or Vernors or those quasi-European sodas like grapefruit soda, blood orange, Sicilian lemon etc., most of which have slightly lower sugar contents and get a selection.

THEN, peruse the internet and the cocktail thread on SB for 6 or so cocktails using this stuff. Make up 750 ml batches and put each in its own bottle. Label them and include the date they'll be featured(to build anticipation) and put them on the counter or bar. ("Shrub" punches need to be aged cold so I suggest only mixes, like Glugg, that can be prominently displayed on the bar area. Why? Well, . . .)

When they get settled, tell them that, in lieu of "ordinary drinks," you are having a different Happy Hour cocktail each day and would REALLY like their opinions. Of course, you can show/give them a recipe card on which you have written the "ideal" list of ingredients. For example, if you used up your Seagrams 7 left over from college or a 1990s poker game, you could write "Knob Creek" which also is an American whiskey. Since the labeled cocktail bottles are filling barspace recently occupied by your top shelf stuff which just HAD to be put away to make room for these special Happy Hour treats, you can sleep soundly.

In addition to using up stuff you otherwise might have forever, you might actually find a cocktail or two you like. BTW, grapefruit soda plus some Regans Bitters make EVERYTHING taste better. Just saying.

Edited March 30, 2014 by Harry in WashDC

[squire]

Hmm, that idea definitely has merit, just the sort of covert thing one would expect from a resident of DC.