The Good, the...Well, Just the Good and the Ugly

[Thomm]

Tomorrow, the long awaited basement specialists will arrive to bust up the slab and relocate drain tiles and the sump pump.  As a last act of preparation, I grabbed the remaining basement whiskey bottles and brought them up to save them from the impending dust shower.  

As I gently cradled the lovelies for their short journey, I couldn't help but note the creativity in some of the bottle shapes.  We have all, no doubt, seen the lengths to which marketing specialists have gone to make their product stand out.  Some bottles are just plain gorgeous, and have the added benefit of containing very high quality whiskey.  Others may be hiding an inferior (and oftentimes quite underaged) product in flashy, eye-catching vessels.

But humor me please, if you will, with the versa to my vice.  Let's have your example of a graceful swan libation tucked into ugly duckling packaging.

Here's mine.  Alberta Premium Cask Strength Rye.  Delicious, complex, smokin' hot.  At this proof point, I always overindulge.  And I always forgive myself the next day. 

The bottle, while not Ugly with a capital U, leaves a lot to be desired.  Plastic spin-off cap, Bas-relief diamonds at the shoulders and hips giving the impression that the container has developed a regionally isolated case of hives.  The midriff displays a label that may as well have printed on it only the word "WHISKEY" in those blocky capital letters that used to adorn generic vegetable cans.  I just don't care for this bottle at all.  But I love the whiskey.

What about you?  Which one has you telling your friends, "Yeah, but she's got a great personality!"

[MM818]

57 minutes ago, Thomm said:

I just don't care for this bottle at all. 

Maybe that’s why they sell it in a box! 

[Richnimrod]

Interesting idea for a thread, Thomm.   Congratulations on coming up with it.   HMMMMMMM, I will absolutely need to think a while to answer the question you've posed.   Off hand I'm drawing a blank, though I could certainly name a few I thought have/had quite attractive bottles/packaging.

[smokinjoe]

Nice thread!  To start,  I’d say that the OGD 100 pr label design belies its whisky’s quality.  Particularly, the goon face they put on it.   

[Thomm]

1 hour ago, smokinjoe said:

Nice thread!  To start,  I’d say that the OGD 100 pr label design belies its whisky’s quality.  Particularly, the goon face they put on it.   

Yeah, I see it now.  Kind of a perverted Ted Knight vibe going on there.

[PaulO]

That Alberta CS is a really nice pour (from someone that thinks most Canadian Whisky is bottom shelf well liquor).  Alberta CS - have to be careful you don't travel into the future like Buck Rodgers.    I give them credit with that package.  You can't really mistake it for anything else.  

 

Not long ago (they are probably still lurking in bunkers) OGD and KC had some super tight corks.    There was almost no way to grip that plastic top part either.

[GeeTen]

8 hours ago, smokinjoe said:

Nice thread!  To start,  I’d say that the OGD 100 pr label design belies its whisky’s quality.  Particularly, the goon face they put on it.   

 

But, but, but isn't that a portrait of the "real" Old Grandad - Basil Hayden???  

[smokinjoe]

1 hour ago, GeeTen said:

 

But, but, but isn't that a portrait of the "real" Old Grandad - Basil Hayden???  

Not in this house!  THIS stately looking gentleman is the real, Old Grand Dad.  

[kcgumbohead]

The current WTKS bottle will forever wilt in the shadow of it fantail predecessor.

 

[fishnbowljoe]

 

🫨🫨🫨

 

[Richnimrod]

Just for my own esthetics, that Willet Pot Still bottle is quite attractive, beautiful, even.   OTOH, it's a PITA for sure to store, or display on most shelves.   ...And, the 'family size' bottle is a whole nother level of PITA!

So, to many of us it has become UGLY since it is so damned non-utilitarian.   Just my own opinion, of course.

[Richnimrod]

OK, I'm back, having given a bit of thought to which bottles have struck me as . . . well, not so hot.

The Heaven Hill Select Stock bottles have to be my least favorite bottles for several reasons.  Their original caps were such a poor design that many leaked and were pretty much impossible to screw tight enough to stop it.   I wound up using caps from 2-liter Pepsi bottles that actually fit better than those supplied with the original purchase.    But, that isn't the main reason for my dislike.   The damned things are so wide that I cannot get a reliable grip with one hand (mine are as old as the rest of me, and pretty arthritic) in order to pour a dram!   ...And the "neck" is non-existent!    So, ya' can't grab it that way either!   I hate those bottles!

I'll add, for inconvenience of pouring, the family size bottles of Buffalo Trace.   Some call 'em "handles"; but, that absolutely does NOT apply here.   They have NO Handle!   They need one!

I'll offer an 'honorable mention' (or should that be DIS-honorable?) for Galliano bottles.    A 'fifth' is Very Tall.   Not actually ugly, though.  In fact I'd call 'em 'elegant' in their tall gentle, fluted taper.    Much like the Willet Port Still bottles they just are such a challenge to store anyplace.   A PITA!

[Thomm]

26 minutes ago, Richnimrod said:

I'll add, for inconvenience of pouring, the family size bottles of Buffalo Trace.   Some call 'em "handles"; but, that absolutely does NOT apply here.   They have NO Handle!   They need one!

I had forgotten about those.  That's a two handed pour most days!  In a similar vein, another inconvenient one is VOB in handle size.  Good stuff at a great price, but ya gotta wrestle it for your dram.

[Kepler]

I wouldn't put them in the category of "ugly" but  the labeling that Maker's has been doing lately has been a step back in aesthetics if you ask me (MM101, M46 / M46CS).  The exception is the Cellar Aged and the 2024 "Heart Release" because to my eyes those bottles look cool. 

I agree with @kcgumbohead above that the current Kentucky Spirit bottle is a fail.

 

I was trying to think of other bottles that I've picked up recently that might fit the bill.  I really like the label styling and rustic cork cap of Hard Truth bourbon (and the sweet mash bourbon is excellent) but the unusually tall profile of the bottle is kinda awkward.  Looks good in photos but in person the bottle seems top heavy and just way too tall for the tiny base.  Always feel like its going to tip over. It has that flat upwardly tapered look (a la Whistlepig) but the execution is just a bit awkward.  I'm probably stretching here but it was the new bottle that came to mind that I love the contents more than the bottle shape.

 

 

 

Edited August 13, 2024 by Kepler

[PaulO]

18 hours ago, fishnbowljoe said:

 

🫨🫨🫨

 

The "bong" bottle    I've never bought one of those because the consensus always seemed to be the whiskey was just ok, nothing to get excited about.

[smokinjoe]

Over the last 20 years, Weller has been through a number of dressing changes.  While IMO the paper label was the finest, and should never had been screwed with, most subsequent revisions have been rather nice looking.  But considering that the latest shit label dressing has occurred during Weller’s zenith in popularity, its execution is dreadful.   Unimaginative, boring, lacking any beauty at all, and very substandard in comparison to the whiskey inside.  
But on a side note, I do like the metal screw on caps.  Something about the tinny sound they make while opening or sealing back up is pleasing to me.