View Full Version : Press Release: Closing of Distillery

04-24-2006, 18:55
We regret to announce we will be shutting down operation at the end of the month. We value your patronage through out the years and your appreciation of our products.

We will as a special consideration bulk ship product to you as a "thank you" for standing by us all of these years. Please state what product you have been buying and we will accommodate this last order at 10% off your regular retail price. If you have been purchasing more than one of our products, we may be able to accommodate a second selection from our stock. Unfortunately we cannot guarantee this due to limited supplies. Please make your primary selection carefully, as we will meet your needs in this selection.

Sincerest appreciation and gratitude,

Your favorite label

Please place your order according to what you would miss the most if this press release was real. Place your order people, LAST CHANCE!

04-24-2006, 19:05
Okay so the rules here seem to be, all other distilleries will still be operating and there will no shortage of whiskies to chose from from the remaining distillers....

In that case I choose MAKER'S MARK!!!

Please bulk ship me one bottle, as that will be a lifetime's supply and I will happily continue to drink whiskey from every other remaining distiller.

04-24-2006, 19:15
Is Maker's Mark "your favorite label"?

04-24-2006, 19:18
Make mine a bottle of Jefferson's Reserve 15 y/o from Mclain & Kyne distillery. Since there is no distillery operating under this name, it won't be too much of a hardship to shut it down. Dont send me any of that 12-17 y/o swill.
Your loyal customer,

04-24-2006, 19:20
Sure, it's a very pretty label, nice scalloped edges, cut on an antique machine:lol:

04-24-2006, 19:37
We've decided to add a bad humor excise tax on to orders, Joe and Tim, please remit $953.23 in addition to your original invoice.

the management

04-24-2006, 19:43
Since you're closing and have a limited amount of stock I will happily cancel my order so some other poor sap....I mean loyal customer can receive all they require to fill their needs...as a matter of fact I'm more than willing to sell back some collectors bottles to your distillery at their current ebay prices,

Thanks again,