About All Things Pappy/VanWinkle

[jvd99]

Underhilltab - I like the fact that the store owner had a release ready to go behind the counter that covered a release of liability for a tug of war head butt scenario that resulted from putting out PVW just 5 minutes before. That's a tall tale from my perspective.

[OutlawSW]

Pappy's House Forum? Still entertaining as hell.

[flahute]

Part 1 was in the realm of possibility. Part 2 is stretching credulity. Either way, it's a heck of a yarn that captures the zeitgeist of the bourbon world.

[gusto16]

Really. I'm now thinking this is some kind of social experiment to see how we will respond to all the twists and turns of the story aka a fine piece trolling... [emoji476]

[PaulO]

Yeah, like some store would actually just set a PVW 15 on the shelf.

[dSculptor]

Well, now we just need a title for this story....and then of course... the ending.

[meadeweber]

After part 1, I was 75% sure it was fake. After part 2, its above 98%.

[kjbeggs]

Well, now we just need a title for this story....and then of course... the ending.

[meadeweber]

"Pappy Nastiness Provokes Purple Nurple Fest"

[-icon-]

Started funny... now it's just trying to hard

It's like the slip from Appetite to Illusion for Guns N Roses.

[squire]

I like "Tears over Whisky" or "Blood in the Aisles".

[GAbiker]

Didn't really believe the first installment of "As the Pappy Turns," (Gratis Van Winkle and BTAC which is against the law and the store had NO liability as any business owner knows), the comes installment two....

However, AM glad I'm in GA where we have concealed carry permits. Figure Four leg lock would have got a Double tap

[LCWoody]

Thanks to all of you who read my initial post. For those of you who commented, I’d like to reply to each of you individually, but I have my hands full at the moment. If you are interested in an update . . .

I couldn't sleep much at all last night. I was excited and thinking about my new high-end bunker additions. I also couldn't stop replaying the events of the last day and a half over and over in my head. Mostly, however, I knew I would have to encounter, confront, or maybe even avoid this guy on a daily basis...and, frankly, that thought unnerved me.

I like to go for a run in the morning to clear my head and plan out the day as best I can. On this morning's run, I decided that I would make the first overture and potentially even offer an olive branch to the guy for the sake of the work environment. My wife agreed and although I flip-flopped in the car a few times, I was still resolute in my decision by the time I made it into work.

I turned on my computer, replied to a few e-mails, went down to the cafeteria to pick up some breakfast, ate the breakfast, all the while gathering the courage to walk next door. When I was within minutes of making the short journey down the hallway, I looked up and saw a large figure up against the glass pane that connects to my office door. Then I noticed a motioning as if to ask if I were on the phone. Lo and behold, it was him! I motioned back that I wasn't on the phone and that he could open the door.

The entire process that I had rehearsed repeatedly during the run and in the car went out the window within a nanosecond. I took a deep breath and figured I would go with the flow. The flow, however, was quite unfortunate. If I learned anything from the liquor store fiasco, I guess it should have been to expect the unexpected. And, oh my, was the following exchange unexpected.

He opened my door and then immediately closed it behind him without asking. I have a tall but narrow bookshelf against the wall to the left of the glass. He slid the bookshelf over positioning it in front of the glass. It took me a second to process what he was doing and why. I never would have guessed the right answer to either one. There was no apology or explanation for his actions the other day forthcoming.

Our end of the hallway is somewhat sparsely populated to begin with and now he had complete privacy with my door closed and the glass covered. I rocketed up out of my chair, my legs still hurting from the leg lock, and thought I might need to protect myself. I rarely wear a tie, but I did today because I was scheduled to have some external meetings. Before I could say anything, he yanked me by the tie and, in one swift motion, shoved me in front of the closed door. He stood in front of the bookshelf so that I suspect all that was visible from the hallway was the top of his head.

What happened next was perhaps the piece-de-resistance of the entire three day ordeal. As he pushed me against the wall and I flinched for a punch, he took both of his hands, raised them up to my chest, and then grabbed my nipples in a fit of rage through my dress shirt and undershirt. He tightened his grip as hard as he could, was scrunching up his face as if to apply every bit of energy he had into his hands, and bent his legs down and sprang up into a violent twisting motion several times as if he were doing squats with my nipples as his overhead barbell. I was trying to swat down his hands and push him away, but it was useless. He was like a rabid fox with prey in between its teeth.

Yes, indeed that's correct, I was the victim of a grown man "purple nurple" or old fashioned "titty twister"...whatever you may have called it as a kid. I would have laughed hysterically and drooled all over myself just thinking about explaining this to my old college buddies, on top of the head-butt and figure-four leg lock from the other day, but just like in the liquor store I was in sheer pain and desperation. Not to mention, this was now in my workplace and could affect my livelihood.

As he twisted each hand in opposite directions harder and harder, he began to formulate a very serious look on his face and he said in a calm, almost whisper -- nothing like when he was screaming during the leg lock: "You're lucky I have friends in high places and got out of that situation with a slap on the wrist. That was all of your fault for taking what was rightfully mine. Here's what you're going to do. You're going to go home tonight and get that box with all the fancy bottles and put it on my chair before I get into work tomorrow. If you do that, we will drop this and act like this all never happened. If you don't, I promise you don't want to find out what will happen next. And if you say anything to anybody at work or otherwise about what happened the other day or what's happening right now, I guarantee you that I'll bring you down with me."

He then let go of his double vice grip and sort of patted me on the chest and straightened my tie. I muttered something like how could I trust him to drop everything, if I delivered, after all that has happened. He opened his mouth very deliberately once more and said, "Repeat after me, Pappy equals happy!" I didn't repeat anything, but just stared up at him trying to anticipate his next move. With that, he pushed the bookcase back into place, opened the door, looked back to give me a nasty glare, and exited down the hallway to his office. I went home at lunch and worked remotely the rest of the day.

I am a pretty non-confrontational person and I generally get along with everybody. I really can't even believe any of this has happened. Maybe I was just in the wrong place at the right time, or the right place at the wrong time. If you break down the week's events into solitary pieces, each piece, in and of itself, is difficult to fathom. But everything altogether...how could it possibly be real! I am bewildered and exhausted. Emotionally and physically drained. I have the head knot, weak and scraped legs, and two-inch diameter contusions surrounding each nipple and my entire chest hurts to the touch (and it's not even the next day yet).

It may sound strange, but I don't want to make a bigger deal of these few days than is necessary or endanger my family, myself, or my job in any way. Of course, I'd love to teach him a lesson, but he apparently escaped the wrath of the authorities on one occasion already. Is 6 bottles of Pappy and BTAC worth this mess? I think any reasonable person knows the answer to that rhetorical question. I could pretend that the box had only three bottles in it and keep the other three, but I don't want to take any chances with this guy. After talking it over with my wife at length tonight, I'm pretty sure I'll take the box into the office tomorrow and leave it on his chair. The thought that he could be a flipper devastates me though.

Some say the thrill of the hunt is the best part...and this was quite a hunt if nothing else. The kill didn't go so well ...either time. Oh well.

I call BULL SHIT!!!!!! Or you are the biggest pussy in the USA......

[Underhilltab]

Ok, so it was all definitely intended to be a joke. Just having a little fun with the nutty Fall season.

I thought Part 1 was over the top enough, but I guess it really does say a lot about the times that some people didn't know for sure if it was fact or fiction.

I went into my local store the other day, and the guys that I know who work there were saying they are in denial this time of year. I think they received their allocation, but they are still figuring out how to give it out. They said they are getting the usual calls left and right and hearing ridiculous demands and claims from random people who don't frequently shop there. That is what I think planted the seed for me to josh around a bit the other night.

I did actually see 12 ETL and 6 Stagg Jr. batch #5 during that trip the other day (a subject for another thread) but most everything else was fabricated.

Thanks very much for all the comments. I got a kick out of all of them -- even the negative/critical ones. As one poster mentioned, it did become somewhat of a social experiment.

Sorry if I wasted anybody's time . . .but I guess that's the good thing about a chat board/forum . . .no one is forced to read anything.

If you got any entertainment out of it at all, even for a second, that's my small way to give back to this community which has provided me with so much information, education, and enjoyment over the last few years (as a lurker and participant).

Oh, and I've made a mental note never to administer a figure-four leg lock to anybody in GA!

[Golzee]

I call BULL SHIT!!!!!! Or you are the biggest pussy in the USA......

I agree. If this is true, act like you have a set of stones and defend yourself.

[LCWoody]

Damn, I'm good....... I'm glad your not a pussy. I can handle some BS.

[camduncan]

Ok, so it was all definitely intended to be a joke. Just having a little fun with the nutty Fall season.

I thought Part 1 was over the top enough, but I guess it really does say a lot about the times that some people didn't know for sure if it was fact or fiction.

I went into my local store the other day, and the guys that I know who work there were saying they are in denial this time of year. I think they received their allocation, but they are still figuring out how to give it out. They said they are getting the usual calls left and right and hearing ridiculous demands and claims from random people who don't frequently shop there. That is what I think planted the seed for me to josh around a bit the other night.

I did actually see 12 ETL and 6 Stagg Jr. batch #5 during that trip the other day (a subject for another thread) but most everything else was fabricated.

Thanks very much for all the comments. I got a kick out of all of them -- even the negative/critical ones. As one poster mentioned, it did become somewhat of a social experiment.

Sorry if I wasted anybody's time . . .but I guess that's the good thing about a chat board/forum . . .no one is forced to read anything.

If you got any entertainment out of it at all, even for a second, that's my small way to give back to this community which has provided me with so much information, education, and enjoyment over the last few years (as a lurker and participant).

Oh, and I've made a mental note never to administer a figure-four leg lock to anybody in GA!

Damm good read and certainly as entertaining as all heck! .... plus, I'm glad you weren't hurt (real or not)

[flahute]

It's all good. Great writing skills you have. As I said above, it did actually capture the current state of the bourbon market.

[Tony Santana]

I was skeptical about the first story, but willing to accept it because it was such a good read. Lost me on the second one, but hey, it was amusing. No harm, no foul.

Changing topics, sort of, but one of my locals got 3 Van Winkle bottles - the 10, 12 and 15. Doing a silent auction, with proceeds over MSRP going to charity, same as they did for the 3 BTAC bottles they got. Stopped in last night and checked just out of curiosity. ORVW was at $150, Lot B was $200 and the Pappy 15 was $400. I'm not going to spend that kind of money on a bottle but I didn't think those prices were that outrageous given the charity component. Auction ends Monday morning, so I suspect the prices will see a spike over the weekend.

[dSculptor]

Ok, so it was all definitely intended to be a joke. Just having a little fun with the nutty Fall season.

I thought Part 1 was over the top enough, but I guess it really does say a lot about the times that some people didn't know for sure if it was fact or fiction.

I went into my local store the other day, and the guys that I know who work there were saying they are in denial this time of year. I think they received their allocation, but they are still figuring out how to give it out. They said they are getting the usual calls left and right and hearing ridiculous demands and claims from random people who don't frequently shop there. That is what I think planted the seed for me to josh around a bit the other night.

I did actually see 12 ETL and 6 Stagg Jr. batch #5 during that trip the other day (a subject for another thread) but most everything else was fabricated.

Thanks very much for all the comments. I got a kick out of all of them -- even the negative/critical ones. As one poster mentioned, it did become somewhat of a social experiment.

Sorry if I wasted anybody's time . . .but I guess that's the good thing about a chat board/forum . . .no one is forced to read anything.

If you got any entertainment out of it at all, even for a second, that's my small way to give back to this community which has provided me with so much information, education, and enjoyment over the last few years (as a lurker and participant).

Oh, and I've made a mental note never to administer a figure-four leg lock to anybody in GA!

I thought it was all good! I think you should of worked us a little bit more though.

[DonutsNBourbon]

Ok, so it was all definitely intended to be a joke. Just having a little fun with the nutty Fall season.

I thought Part 1 was over the top enough, but I guess it really does say a lot about the times that some people didn't know for sure if it was fact or fiction.

I did actually see 12 ETL and 6 Stagg Jr. batch #5 during that trip the other day (a subject for another thread) but most everything else was fabricated.

Thanks very much for all the comments. I got a kick out of all of them -- even the negative/critical ones. As one poster mentioned, it did become somewhat of a social experiment.

Sorry if I wasted anybody's time . . .but I guess that's the good thing about a chat board/forum . . .no one is forced to read anything.

If you got any entertainment out of it at all, even for a second, that's my small way to give back to this community which has provided me with so much information, education, and enjoyment over the last few years (as a lurker and participant).

Oh, and I've made a mental note never to administer a figure-four leg lock to anybody in GA!

too funny, the first story was almost believable until the figure 4 lock... all I could picture was Rick Flair yelling out "woooo!!!" thanks for the entertaining read, even if it was fake.

[Richnimrod]

OK, Then! You DO get my award for creative fiction, Underhilltab. :bowdown: Fabulous!!!

The very best fiction is always close enough to the truth to be confusing, and far enough away to be entertaining. Nice Job, Sir! (Or Ma'am?)

[fishnbowljoe]

And I quote, "If you ain't having fun, you aren't doing it right." This was fun. Nice one. :cool:

Just don't be surprised if you're your labeled as "Mr. Purple Nurple" from now on. :slappin:

Cheers! Joe

[HOF44]

And I quote, "If you ain't having fun, you aren't doing it right." This was fun. Nice one. :cool:

Just don't be surprised if you're your labeled as "Mr. Purple Nurple" from now on. :slappin:

Cheers! Joe

i think an official name change is in order for the preceding awesomeness!!

[BFerguson]

Well done Underhilltab, this was well played.

and not completely out of the realm of possibility. Things have gotten a little weird lately.

B